Hi again guys! Sorry for the lack of personal posts, but it's been a little rough lately. But I thought I should share this happy thing with you!
As many of you know, I'm a big fan of Eat Your Kimchi, Simon and Martina. I uploaded an interview with them only a little while ago, and I feel so happy they took their time to answer my questions! [Click HERE to get to the interview]
So last time they had a fan meet I missed it, but I got to meet them really quickly at Närcon. I had been looking for them all weekend, but always missed them, their shows and signings because a lot of my friends were either sick due to the heat, or felt bad or anxious because of fights etc. I took care of them, but missed Simon and Martina. Until I just bumped into them so suddenly and got a quick chat.
This time I managed to get tickets for the fan meet just in time. Thanks to boyfriend and extra job WOHO! ♡ So he and I went there as I now have pulled him into the "fandom" as well. It was an extra thing to our 1st year anniversary celebration.
The fan meet overall was hilarious. Soo Zee and Leigh was with them as well, and they had a Q&A, they talked about interesting, fun and important things. They played games with people in the audience. They were just really open, gentle and kind, and I laughed and cried a lot, feeling so much joy during the whole event. To be honest I had felt like shit earlier that day, but Sebastian had sat me down and talked it through with me, bought me sushi to cheer me up, and just treated me like a prince. I feel so spoiled and happy to be loved and taken care of thus way. He's my huge nerdy dork and I wouldn't be complete without him.
Anyhow, afterwards some winners of a competition got to take individual pictures with them and talk, and my friend Miranda was one of them! She's super sweet and looked so happy I could just melt on the spot. Gorgeous girl! But after all the winners every row in the hall got to take a group picture, and say a word or two to them. They were already late, but they gave everyone at least a little time. That's something I appreciate so much with these guys. I think they recognized me, after Närcon and the interview, but I was in my Ciel cosplay at the con and I had dressed up pastel-ish now. When we spoke, they knew who I was though! When I went to say hi to Martina I was about to start crying like a baby... The feels my tiny body tried to contain was overwhelming.
I managed to speak though, even though I was a stuttering, embarrassing mess who just pressed a package into Martina's hands and tried to thank her. My grammar and choice of words was a mess but my brain refused to work kind of. Last time I wasn't as prepared to meet them so then it was mostly a surprised. Now I was aware of it the whole time. So it was worse and better at the same time. But she was just as sweet as ever. I was shaking terribly but I managed to say some words and take a selfie with her (standard...) before I moved on to Simon to ask him for a hug and thank him too. They were already out of time and I got off the stage shaking and crying, making my way back to Sebastian.
That was when my nerve problem kicked in, and I lost control of my muscles. If you have followed me for a while, you know that since 3 years back, I've been suffering from fainting problems. I could faint up to 3 times a week, with or without warnings. Sometimes I would have epileptic symptoms like shaking etc. My nerves could suddenly start tremble and refuse to work like I had gotten an electric shock. It was all caused by stress and it mostly stopped when I moved away from my dad and his new wife.
Nowadays I very rarely faint, but sometimes I get really dizzy or shaky when I'm stressed. And now my right leg started acting up, shaking like crazy. My hands and arms were trembling too but not as bad. I couldn't walk. So I just rested while Sebastian went to the bathroom. I drank water and tried to breathe but I got this weird sharp feeling just between my lungs, above my bellybutton kind of?
Anyhow... to finish this off.
While I was sitting there, trying to relax and regain control of my muscles, I was having another breakdown of happiness. I couldn't believe I just had met them? Again? And they had been so sweet! What happens next is seriously just crazy for little me. But they walks up to my seat, where Sebastian is trying to calm me. And they spend several minutes to talk to me even though they're out of time. Their words was so valuable. I felt so touched. Just remembering what they said to me, just thinking of how much courage they give me, all the motivation they give me, makes my eyes tear up.
Sure, they may be ordinary people, nothing different from any other person. But they do things that really inspires people. They heal sore and sad minds through their words, jokes and videos. They healed me. They made me start youtubing again. They made me feel much better about myself. They helped me to gain self confidence and strength. They use the power they have for the good.
I want to be the same, and do good for people who needs it. Be a supporting pillar to lean against. That is my goal. But for now In just trying to stay strong and take on one day at a time and make the best out of what I got. And I've got a lot. I'm really lucky, and happy. I'm thankful for everything.
So sending my love to the EYK-crew for all the help, and all the love to you who keeps supporting me.
Hugs!
Over and out, cap'n Jack
Me next to lovely Martina!
