Ambulance rides and relief

So yesterday was a chaotic day and quite a disappointment. About 2 months ago I was accepted for an weekend course in sexuality, something I wanted to take to further educate myself to be able to work as a sexuality/gender identity educator in schools. And this weekend, was THE WEEKEND. I was so happy this morning. I got up at 7, cuddling my cats, fixing breakfast. I decided I wanted to do a full, cool makeup, colors and all, but still stay with my short hair and more "boy-ish clothes" rather than dressing up typically "female" like I often do when I wear a lot of colorful makeup nowadays. I feel happy and ready, full of energy. And off I go!

I get there in time, actually a little early, so I say hi to people, and help them rearrange chairs and all. There's coffee and tea, little snacks and fruit. I have some extra snacks with me for my low blood sugar. And everything starts off great, I feel so at home! I'm talking, introducing myself, I don't feel judged, and I'm all into the discussion, delivering broad full replies and explanations of my thoughts, bringing up points no one thought of. I feel proud. This is what I can't do in school. Because of how awkward I feel with my class and the rude people there. 

Unfortunately... an hour into it all, I started to feel sharp pains, going through my lower stomach. At first it started like a dull ache, but it rapidly got more and more painful. I thought I should take a quick pause, so I left my notes on my chair and went to the bathroom. I barely got inside, before the pains got overwhelming, and I was shaking and sweating. I called Sebastian, kind of panicking by then. As usual, my calm, caring other half talked me through it as good as possible, asking for my symptoms and trying to give me advice on what to do. Perhaps I had eaten something bad, and my stomach was acting up? I thought so at first myself, but by every minute it got harder to even stand up, but I couldn't sit down either, and it honestly just felt like extremely horrible period cramps.

For me as a trans man periods have always been extra awful, since it reminds me of things that I rather not think about. But now I knew that it was weeks too early to feel cramps like this. I eventually had to hang up the phone, overwhelmed by the pain and unable to focus on Sebastian's words. This was when I threw up the first time, from how strong the pain was. 

Then, the pain slowly faded just SLIGHTLY. Enough for me to wash my mouth and hands, and stumble out of the bathroom to call for help from one of the teachers. She immediately went to sit down with me somewhere quiet and I got to explain my symptoms while the pain returned. We called health care guidance, and it took a good 20 minutes or so to even get on the line with them, but after explaining the situation, and also mentioning that I had surgery 3 weeks ago, she suggested that I should go to the nearest emergency hospital. I could barely stand, much less walk, which I explained to her while to pain returned like daggers in my lower stomach. I was about to start crying from the pain now, which is rare for me, so I knew it was bad. Even breathing normally was difficult. She adviced me to get an ambulance, so that was what my teacher did. 

It took the ambulance probably about 10 minutes or less to get to me, and I was taken care of by two paramedics, who had to carry me out on a special chair kind of thing, and later put me on a stretcher. It took another 7 minutes or so to get to the hospital, and during that ride one of them checked my pulse and everything, and my pain once again increased. Since I have difficult and small veins he couldn't inject me with the first option of painkiller, so he had to inject something else into my upper arm muscle. It stung, but it made me focus on that pain more for a few seconds, and then I got dizzy from the immediate effect. 

I was taken care of immediately upon my arrival at the hospital, by several doctors and nurses. They did all kinds of checkups, bumped me full of morphine and made me all dizzy and off, but at least the pain was numbed. 

They couldn't find anything that was wrong right away, so they appointed me to a gynecologist, but I had to wait for a while, and take more tests. Because of my veins, again, they had to try to take blood and put tubes and such in both my wrists, and both of the bends of my arms. Sooo I'm full of little red dots now, haha!

Before the ambulance had went to get me, I had gotten help from my teacher to call for help, try to reach some of my friends. My hero of the day was Saga, and she was at the hospital by the time I was rolled out to a little room, from the first doctors. I was high on morphine and miserably ridiculous, but I was so glad and felt so much safer and less alone with my twinnie there. I have such amazing friends?

So yeah, basically. It went on like this for hours with rest and checkups. I wasn't allowed to eat for many hours, but eventually I got to try to eat and drink, but the morphine made me throw up shortly after trying, several times. Yay. 

After about 6-7 hours at the hospital, I was finally released. The pain was merely a numb soreness, they couldn't find what was wrong, but their best guess was that, due to it being time for me to have my monthly ovulation, a ovarian follicle had burst and the liquid that was released caused the pain. It's nothing serious, and sometimes it happens people with uteruses and all that. My wonderful bonus mom and little brother came by to pick me up and make sure I was fine, they took me home, cooked me food and helped me clean the apartment... what else could I expect from such amazing people? I am so lucky to have people like this in my life. 

Now today, I feel much much better and I'm up and working, eating, being happy. I'm so glad it turned out to be nothing serious, but it's worth to mention that I have had these kind of pains before, just not... so intense. Which was why I got so scared this time. I was so well treated by staff and family and everything. 

Now... I will try to and hope that I stay healthy for as long as possible. I'm getting a liiiiittle tired of having to visit hospitals so often. But well... I have a 2 week long special treatment starting next month so I will have to go to the hospital at least a few more times within the near future.

But yeah, now I got this off my chest. Something more personal, not just a review, eh?