Thank you. I love you. Rest in peace ♡

Ohhh well! So Närcon Vinter is over. The con felt like it took lace in one week rather than four days. It was so exhausting! But it was fun as well, forunately. Some really sad things happened during the weekend though, and the thing I want to mention is that I lost a dear friend of mine.

Miklos, or Micke, was a close friend of mine. He was like my best friend, father, grandpa, all at once. He was always there, supporting, caring, accepting and understanding. He was amazing, so generous and kind. Even if I didn't want to smile all the time, he could always make me. His hugs, so comfy, his scent made me feel safe and at home. His warm brown eyes looking at me with love, as if I was his own child or grandchild. I never saw him make one single selfish action. He always thought of others first. He was quite unfortunate though. He was born in Hungary during the second world war. His family was killed but he was saved and made it to Sweden. He lost his wife and daughter. I remember the daughter had cancer. But he had his son left. He took care of me and my mother though. But now cancer got him too.

I know he was in pain. I knew he suffered. He needed to be released. Yet I wished I had been able to hug him one last time. Said 'thank you' one last time. I wish I had told him I love him. Last time we met I didn't know he would die this soon. I didn't know how tough the cancer in his body was. If I had known, I would have made our last meeting different. It seems so long ago now. He refused to meet anyone, and barely took any phone calls while he was at the hospital. But I know there was a good reason for that. He wanted us to remember the healthy and strong Miklos. Not the shell he was before he left Earth. And I want to be able to respect and accept that. It's just hard knowing that there is no such thing as a revival stone, elixir, or replay button in real life. You can't go back and change and undo things. You don't get second chances like that. This is why I feel like I have to write this. It feels as if somehow he will be able to read this.

Micke, you are one of the best persons who have ever walked this Earth. I love you. Please rest, you deserve it. I will make sure to manage everything and make sure mom will be alright. I promise you that ♡

I don't know... I can't really stop crying while writing this. At least I have someone patting my shoulder and making sure I'm okay. I'll stay strong. This is a part of life, and at least you don't have to feel the pain anymore. I just hope you didn't die with worry and anxiety in your chest. This was... a very emotional piece of text that I just had to write. Let out some feelings. I got the news from my mom at the con, so I broke down then and there and just screamed and cried for minutes into Tir's lap. I'm so happy I have my friends. Tir, Sebastian, Ida, Isa and Johanna, they were there for me the whole time, cheering me up and talking about it. And so was the nice nurse at the con. Even though the rest of the weekend felt quite mizerable, I had a nice time. I will write more about it later, hopefully. I just needed to get this out of my chest and mind. 

Chuu, little puppies~ ♡