Relationship thoughts

I have been thinking lately, that I am incredibly lucky. In three days my boyfriend will be travelling about 110 Swedish miles to come and see me, spend time with me and go to Närcon Vinter in Linköping to cosplay with him. He always cares so much for me, and he always wants to make me happy. He's super sweet and kind. Loving, gentle and generous.

I believe that if there's something like 'soul mates', he has to be mine. I'm the kind of person who fears being alone. I want to have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or that really close best friend that knows me better than anyone else. But as the years passed I stopped fearing, and calmed down. But a lot of shit happened, and for once I only wanted to be alone. That was when I met Sebastian. A ten years older guy who happened to live on the other side of Sweden. Yep, high score.

I haven't always had the best of best friends. Sooner or later they have ended up leaving me, or treated me badly. But for the first time in forever, I really got the best of friends. Sebastian became my best friend so quickly, thanks to being so much alike me, sharing the same opinions, interests, liked the same kind of things and all. I had been so unstable, but he straightened me up and made me happy. Calls and texts, chatting, planning. Now so many months later he's one of most important persons in my life, as my best friend and boyfriend.

I know everyone isn't as lucky as me. I hear people complaining all the time about how they want a boyfriend or girlfriend, but that they can't fall in love, or that the ones they like doesn't like them back, and things alike. It's hard, I know that myself. But I also know that love will come when you least expect it. When I met Sebastian I was determined to be single and enjoy life as it was. But after talking that much for him, and feeling the feelings I felt, I just had to forget about that. I knew he was the guy for me. I'm just happy he feels the same way, and that we both can give each other equal feelings. 

For me relationships are serious stuff. I never go out with someone I know it won't last long with, and I have to have very strong feelings for the person. I want it to be serious, to last long, and that the relationship will be happy and successful, and that we will be able to trust each other and hold each other up, care and make it all work. I want to feel safe. I do now. I have the experience and strength now, to be able to tell when it will work out and not.

But it's also hard to step out of a relationship that is bad for you, if you still love the person, and care for him/her. It takes a lot of energy to work that out and it's mostly useless in the end. I've been through that several times and it makes you feel so crappy every time.

I'm just happy I have someone like my boyfriend. He's the best of the best. We're as tight as ever and honestly, I hope it will be like this for a very long time. There's no one that can make me as happy as he makes me, by doing such simple things. Spoiling me, teasing me, loving me, talking to me. Every little thing he does is just worth so much, and the love I feel is pure and strong... And I really couldn't resist writing this because after last night late night talk with him, I'm full of feels. ♡